i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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