Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
