We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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