It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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