the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize