hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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