My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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