I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize