Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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