dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
