I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
