So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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