We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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