Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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