i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
