I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
