you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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