I think I died a long time ago.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
