i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
