Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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