glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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