Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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