Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
