forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I intend to get homeless drunk
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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