Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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