I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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