We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize