Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
