I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
