was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I will be naked everywhere
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
