My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
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