So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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