i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
