Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
