1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I have already put on my inside pants.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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