she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
