If i come over, it means nothing
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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