i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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