You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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