I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
