My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she pinky promised me she was 18
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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