Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
