I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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