3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm like, not good at living.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
