im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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