I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
