i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
