JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize