Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
If that was your dad, he is hot
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
