Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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