Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
