Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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