Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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