We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
