and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
