God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
