Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
