They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
