That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
