sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
