He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Welp...herpes.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
