You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
