so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
